Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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