I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
