wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
