so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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