Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We are two peas in an std pod
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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