It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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