There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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