there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize