We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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