She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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