? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
