The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
