do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
