I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
