I hate your face
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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