PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize