My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
