I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
