last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We're too hungover to prance.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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