making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
