Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
