he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
