I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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