I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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