remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
