I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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