You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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