giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
