Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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