well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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