Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
two words...techno handjob
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
