i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
