Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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