yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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