please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
