if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
