bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Randomize
