hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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