I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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