So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
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how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
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There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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