What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
it glows. i had to have it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
