And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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