I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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