I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I can't turn off my feet"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
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