I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
