i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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