Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
