What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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