girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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