I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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