yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize