She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
