I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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