Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
