ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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