Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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