I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Dignity is for republicans.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
