brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
zippers are such a cool invention
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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