whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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