im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
