So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
