how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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