The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
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you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
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Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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