Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
