I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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