with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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