I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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